No One Liked Dicks More Than Wooper
by kkkitn666
Summary: this time on woopers believe it or not! this collab actually has a plot
1. Chapter 1

authors note: good l uck

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Wooper liked dicks. Gold's Wooper especially liked licking dicks, and the blowjobs it gave where Arceus damn amAYzing.

So one day Gold stuck his dingus in Wooper's woolly mammoth mouth at Route 29.

Wooper ate the penis happily; the water type sucked to high heaven.

Gold grunted gratefully, grieving gravy gentleman, gritting his teeth.

He came in Wooper's mouth and Wooper ate the seed that dribbled down its round chin. "Woop wooper!" It said, jumping to its trainer's arms, thanking him for the sex.

His trainer started to urinate with his pants on the ground. Wooper started to pee as well, while Gold started making his way downtown to Cherrygrove.

With their post-coital tradition done, Gold zipped up his pants and walked into town. "Hey jerk!" Some dingus yelled. Gold turned around.

Wooper looked down and hissed at a blue Pokemon and Gold whipped out his Pokedex and dropped it, breakin' it. "Hey HEY THAT'S A PHANPY SLUT!" A ginger croaked... like... a... frog...

"So I'm gonna battle you! Phanpy, fuk shit up!" Silver cried pointing like OBJECTION IN THE COURT SOMETIMES SAYEN' AEYOOO! Wooper started to hump Phanpy's leg.

Phanpy started humping his trainer's leg and Gold joined in and started humping Wooper with his clothes on. "I'm Silver & this can't bE HAPPENING TO ME!" Then Wooper peed again cuz bladder infection.

"Oh no!" Gold said and picked up his still peeing Wooper. "U R SIck." And he took it to the Pokemon Center.

Needless to say Phanpy was so happy he won his first battle & his win stats are like 1 to 158 losses so basically .001% he actually won. But anyway Phanpy was so happy, his penis soaked and sprayed like an elephant all over Silver's pant leg. "Fuk."

So Silver ran after Gold and tackled him in the butt, running his hands sensually through his hair. "Oh Gold I have elephant cum all over my leg don't you wanna lick it off?"

Gold started crying, sucking the life out of Silver's pants and then... the cotton... from... his pants... got sucked with it... Meanwhile Wooper and Phanpy started passionately kissing each other.

Wooper suddenly got very angry because no one liked dicks more than Wooper. So Wooper kicked Gold in the face and then peed again. "Wooper you're still sick!" Gold cried shoving a potion in Wooper's butt.

Phanpy got very hella jealous and ate Wooper's butt feces for the potion and there was a hot scatty mess and Silver watched in amazement as Gold started bathing in it.

"Oh wait this isn't the Lavaridge spa." Gold said and Wooper cleaned him off with a Hydro Pump that cleaned off both of Gold's arms and legs. "Oh no it's like lost you!" Gold said to Silver. Luckily Nurse Joy walked by and screamed "I CAN FIX IT!" LIKE FIX IT FELIX and started hitting people in the face with her golden hammer and fixing them. Wooper was cured and Gold was turned into a GREEK GOD.

Gold wasn't even. Gold at first was Thor but then he became Hermes, which was hella gay, I mean. Wooper and Phanpy, because of Nurse Joys god-awesome healing, grew big asses and got materialistic silicon Jynx lips. They were the Lana Del Ray of Johto. It was gay.


	2. Chapter 2

thank u guest for helping me figure out her atrocious handwriting mUCH APPRECIATED

* * *

Of course Gold didn't turn into Thor, Thor was a fucking Norse God you fucking retard. God. And not Gold either. His Hermes-ness was hella gay and his winged fag shoes made Silver so hard I don't even. Yeah, Gold and Silver were travelling together really because PreciousMetalShipping. Phanpy and Wooper were FAAABULOUS.

Wooper drank Phanpy's pee cuz bored. Silver and Gold had to listen to Joey brag about Rattata and being da best Ratatat Twainew ever.  
"Why are we doing this why are you why are you ARE WE!" Silver screamed nonchalantly.

"Ew Wooper it you want to eat Phanpy's dick just ask." Gold said. No one liked dicks more than Wooper. No one liked Ratatatatatatatatatatatatata s more than Joewoop. "Who even is Joewoop?" Gold said. Phanpy farted.

Joey started bottomfeeding his Rattata tank like a Dunfisk(SP). He tried to hide himself, embarrassed. "Joewoop is the offspring of my 3rd cousin twice removed's Quagsire who was shiny and did that Pokemon war in 1940 and that's why there were no men." Wooper inhaled Phanpy's fart.

"Omg Silver ur family's fucked up." Said Joey. Suddenly Wooper choked and died.

"Fuck the only Pokemon you have left is an Aipom!" Silver screamed sarcastically not sure how he managed to figure that one out.  
Phanpy leaped onto the dead Wooper and squished him flat, water going everywhere like he just popped a water balloon.

"No Wooper! WHY DA FUQ DID I DO A NUZLOCKE CHALLENGE?!" Cuz Gold was so angry his gayness was overwhelming. Spewing rainbows and horse shit as Wooper was raised from the dead.  
"Woop wooper," Wooper soaked Joey's dick.

Joey transformed temporarily into a Raticate cuz he had a genetic disorder like that guy from that one movie. He humped the Wooper happily before cumming horse semen on everything.  
"I used a revive," Silver whispered into Gold's ear. "Don't tell your Youtube subscribers."

"Ok," Said Gold licking semen off Silver's neck sensually. Wooper happily ate a dick because no dicked more than Wooper.

Joey felt left out so he said, "I'm the best Ratat trainer evey world! Level 100 rat! Quik attak! Endeavor!11! Focus Ass!" Rattata all died and Wooper peed in remorse. Those Rattata all died liking pussy and it was tragic. "Whoa," Silver said shaking scared.

"Joey u fucked up man," said Gold. "Wooper!" Wooper ate a dick. Rattata genocide.

"DON'T!" Joey said angrily and pooped his Raticate pants. Wooper felt violated and pondered for his WHALE being. Silver stood there felling outter place, returning his Phanpy just in case something went wrong.

Suddenly they were outside a house. It was a Pokemon house, because Mr. Pokemon lives there. Like literally Pokemon house. Pokemon house. THE HOUSE WAS MADE OF POKEMON. "Woop wooper," said Wooper eating a dick of a Vulpix that was the house. "Ew Wooper that's not nice. Ask the owner before eating their house's dick." Said Gold.  
"I LOVE WALKING IN CIRCLES!" Said Mr Pokemon BUT WAIT HE WASN'T WALKING IN CIRCLES, that was just that one jerk from Hoenn or some shit. I'm sorry just kidding! So Mr Pokemon wasn't walking in circles, but he still said he loved walking in circles and Bill was there and I'm gonna shut up.

Bill looked around shamelessly, wearing a dead Furret scarf. "God I'm so hot." He looked himself in the eye and screamed cuz thats not even possibru. Wooper ate a Voltorb penis and giggle.  
Silver threw a Pokeball at one of the walls and caught a dead something. He sent it back out and choked up. He caught an Ariadoz! Using a revive, he got hella happy. "I can so pwn Gold next time," he whispered to himself.  
Mr Pokemon stuck a finger up his butt. "GUYZ I LADE AN EGG."

So Joey ate the egg and then puked on Bill's shoes.

(I misread shoes as "hoes" b4 writing this:) "They're pros- MY PROSTITUTES HAVE TOPEGI GUTS-!" Bill couldn't even finish his sentence.  
"SHAWTY! USE STRING SHOT!" Then everything got shotted on!  
"-On them!" Bill finally finished. Then Ariados stringed Bill's mouth shut before poisoning everyone's body parts. Unfortunately, Gold's cock turned purple and Swellowed up.

And it was the biggest cock ever and Wooper drooled and tried to eat it but everyone couldn't get in his mouth and they were sad but Silver was turned on. "Omg fuk me Gold," and swooped his butt on da giant cock. Luckily his ass had got big thanks to the poison. "OH SILVERU-CHAN!" Gold desu'd.

"OH GOLD!" Silver screamed.  
"OH SILVER BELLS!" Gold whined.  
Silver's butt popped poison puss all over Gold's sticky body. Ariados chuckled like Leonardo Dica(p)rio and sucked Wooper's gills.

"Woop wooper!" Wooper tried to suck Adriadozzzzzz's cock but SURPRISE THERE WAS NO COCK!  
"OMG EW GIDDE FOQ OUTTA MY HOUSE!" Mr. Pokemon kicked them out but Bill kept Joey behind to do Greaky(?) Human Centipede experiments.  
Then they went to the Pokemon Center and got the poison outta dere buts and genitalia and they went to the next city which I cant remember its name. HAHA and they were gonna climb a tower and fight a bird ok. I'm done now.


	3. Chapter 3

vietnamese crystal references 2k12!

* * *

The Bellsprout Tower was a vine mine. Silver got harassed by 50 Bellsprouts with his clothes off and his urethra got violated by pointy ass roots. He was up in the air and Gold was whacking Wooper off at the sight of it. "WOWWEE THIS IS MY DREAM HOO HAHAHAHAHA TO WATCH THE SIL-" Never mind. I'm not supposed to be RPing Gold.

But Gold was very happy to see his boyfrien' get tentacle'd and licked the ass of some old dude while he whacked off Wooper. Then they came and he left to go fight a bird jerk who was also emo.

Silver stumbled uncomfortably after Gold. "Ugh FUCKNER needs to use his PoKEMON TO STICK THEIR BEAKS UP YOUR BOOTY HOLE, GOLDY LOCKS!"  
The Bellsprout went back to their lair and made the monks fan them with Venusaur leaves and hand feed them cherries and pomegranates.

"Sorry I'll let you stick your dick in me tonight to make up for it," Gold said and went into Fuckner's gym and WHOA OH MY GOD HE COULD FLY!  
"I AM FUCKNER, EMO PETER PAN!" Fuckner said.

"WHOA! I WANT TO PLAY QUIDDITCH ALSO!" Silver said and jumped into the air standing on his PHANPY but then he. fell. Fuckner sprouted his pubes and scratched his pit before squawking hoarsely and nipping at the crease of his elbow like a bird. Silver crashed into the concrete and bruised himself. "Fuckner the emo furry."

"I WANT A BAAAADGE," GOLD YELLED and beat up Fuckner by throwing Wooper at him! Pidgeotto plucked out Wooper's eyes but Wooper grew new ones and Pidgeotto was so freaked out he died.  
"No my dad's pokeymon! Take the damn badge!" Fuckner threw it and it landed in Silver's ass.  
"Ok," Gold said and left the gym.

Silver stood up and moaned. "This badge is never going to come out-" And so then he realized he was going to become Gold's badge holder. Awkwardly and discreetly he ran after Gold.  
"I'M GOING TO CHOP OFF YOUR COCK YOU'RE GETTING TOO COCKY!"

"But I need my cock if Wooper gets hungry," Gold said.  
"Woop wooper," Wooper was busy cutting off body parts and regrowing them.

"At least turn down your horny levels," Silver burped, giving Fuckner one more wink before leaping leg-first into Route Mareep. "Ah it feels good to be outside."  
"Ah," Phanpy said, uttering his first words as a Pokemon. "Phannpy Phan Pha." He said, tearing up.  
"I miss Joey too, Chiodo."

MEANWHILE! Joey was busy living a happy Raticate life and was having open heart surgery because Bill was a freak like that and was trying to save his life but just ended up killing him. Ok meanwhile:  
Wooper sucked a Mareep's dick but didn't die cuz electric cuz ground type.  
"Shut up fuck nuts," said Gold fucking Silver's nuts.

Silver grunted angrily. "Ugh that badge stimulates my an us when u do that." A Pokeball glowed and enveloped Mareep's dick and Silver caught Mareep's genitalia. "That's wonderful." He began to cry.  
"I released Aipom in my PC; he's wild." Gold said to close future plot holes. "Aipom are gay I damn them all."  
Suddenly a girl on a phone rode her magic PokeCellularDevice... Liz. "I CHLLAN GOLD!"

"K," said Gold and kicked her ass and made her make him a sandwich.  
"Let go into this cave now," Gold said.  
"Woop wooper," Wooper licked Silver's Pokeballs.

Phanpy stuck his tail in Wooper's booty. "Take ur shit somewhere else," he said Duke Nukem style.  
Silver pointed at a small blue-lined snake. "It's a wide-ruled notebook paper Onix! You could pwn widdit!"

"Ok Silver," said Gold. Gold did everything Silver said because Silver was a little bitch and also the girl in the relationship.  
DADADA ONIX was caught you queer.

"WHOAWIE U COT IT BRO GOD JAB," He screamed but also yelled. "That's insane I wish I was a trainer of your CALIBER." He was sarcastic again. Chiodo retweeted 2 balls and Shawty came out wearin' apple bottom jeans, boots wid da fur.

wid da fur the whole club was lookin at hurr. So many Zhib came in great number and attacked them.

A Sicib rose from da waters and eat all Zhib to safe onli Silfer whyle Gold get screech. "I confused. Howwa da hella getta outta here?"  
A Shawty shrugged in frying in the deep. "Beets me."

"Yay Sicib!" Said Gold and kicked a Zhib in the face and also in the balls. "Who are you Silver?" said Gold. He was still confused.  
Wooper was confused too aND HE FORGOT HE LOVED DICKS!

Silver took this as a tragic tragedy and used Shawty as a pee and made it pee on all Zhibs and Sicib.  
"Hurry we must escape!" So they ran past dudes with a Vulpix and ran out d cave with turds on their backs and Shawty change color to brown.

Gold snapped out of HIS CONFUSION!  
"Ok Silver let's go get another badge for your butt."  
"Woop wooper!" Wooper ate a dick.

"Ok I'll get on my head," so he grew feet from his head and put his ass in the air as the surrounding Slowpoke were getting taken by Team Rocket. Silver and Gold were oblivious and just kept walking like nothing was going on.

Slowpoke got its tail cut off.  
"Ow!" said Slowpoke.

Rocket Grunt Butch Casey deepthroated the tail showing off to his servants. "THAT'S GAG RIGHT BITCHES GAG I'M SO MUCH BATTER THAN YOU!"  
And so Silver looked and cried. "Where's Giovanni... my... FATHER...miss...him..."

"Silver you're a rocket," Gold said. "You're a rocket baby, you rocket." Then disco music started to play and everyone started to dance especially Silver.  
"Rock it, rocket!" said Gold.  
"Woop wooper." said Wooper carrying dicks like Jesus. He walked up to Butch Casey Cassidy like came friend let me learn you. No one loved dicks more than Wooper.

"I LOVE A WOOPER DICK IN THE MORN'!" BUTCH CASEY CASSIDY CRIED BEFORE DYING DRAMATICALLY.  
"There's only one thing to do at a time like this," Silver said to Gold. Then Silver blew into a million peaces. (Not pieces.) "Can't believe I rocket red rick roo ra."

"Oh Silver I love you so much," said Gold and he kicked Executive's protonzors ass out of the well and went tO JUST KIDDING


	4. Chapter 4

"Well that was abrupt," Shawty grumbled angrily. She poked a hole in the ground and oil peed.  
"We've hit the jackpot!" Silver hugged Gold in happiness watching the population of Slowpoke decrease. Then he saw a cave in the middle of a grassy area. "What the hell?"  
Then Shawty sniffed the cave's butt and dived into it and broke her back like Kurt did in canon.

"Lets get another badge for your butt Silver." Said Gold and dragged his boyfriennnn' away leaving Shawtyyyy to die. No one loved dicks more than Wooper. ThoughT you'd like to know.

"Can't wait for another pointy object to puncture my anal canals!" Silver screamed, dancing to the discos of Elvis. And then they reached the gym.

In the gym, Bugsy McMaynor Dickenson was enjoying a fresh spot of tea with Scyther and his other beloved bug Pokemon. Challengers had been rather rare in these parts since Team Rocket moved in. They had been scaring everyone away with their terrible terroristic actions but Gym Leader Bugsy, being the British Yank he was, had adopted a wait-and-see attitude rather than face the problem head-on. He had no way of knowing the two upstanding citizens entering his gym were the same dodgy old codgers who had rid his town of the Rocket menace just minutes prior.  
"Salutations, gentlemen!" Bugsy said greeting his challengers in a friendly yet polite manner. "Have you come to challenge me so that you may partake in the Pokemon League Challenge?"

"IS THAT A UNOVAN ACCENT?!" Silver gasped angry. "WHOA I'M - GIMME AUTOGRAPH!"  
Then Shawty slammed open the door and growled. "BUGSY YOU MURDERER! YOU... DONATED ME TO THE POKEMON HOUSE SO YOU COULD HAVE ROOM FOR A _SCYTHER_!?"  
She lunged poopily at Scyther and tried to bit his head off.

"I dare say, Madam! I've never encountered you before in my life!" Bugsy exclaimed. "Scyther, use cut!"  
Scyther slashed forward to defend himself, hitting Shawty in the thorax and rocketing her rather comically across the room until she hit the wall.  
"Well now." Bugsy said, turning to Silver. "Sir. I'm honored you require my autograph but PARTAKE! I am not Unovan as you believe." He signed a slip of paper with a flourish. Bugsy McMaynor Dickerson.  
"Woop wooper," Wooper's eyes got so super big. DICKZZZZZZZ

SHAWTY started to convulse. All her thorax intestines got cut open and poop, piles and piles of poop, drooled out into the open floor to which then the whole room grew flowers (namely Sunflora) and soaked Wooper's massively frail body. Also Scyther got splattered and it was just a mess.  
"Oh my..." Silver said anxiously, trying to use a revive but to no avail. He pressed select to ride his bike and then Oak's voice said, "Hey! This is neither the time nor place for these shenanigans!"  
"FUCKIN SHIT!" Silver yelled, ripping his autograph in two.

"I dare say, that Pokemon needs medical attention!" Bugsy cried but then Wooper attacked Bugsy because dicks and tried to cut the delicious length in his retarded shorts pants by spitting water at him.  
"You peed yourself," said Gold and kicked Bugsy's ass. "Gimme badge now."  
"DO PARDON ME, SIR," said Bugsy raising his voice as he rubbed his tender bottom. "I will not stand for disrespect on your or your Pokemon's part! Kindly vacate the premise!"  
"Woop wooper!" Wooper humped his leg because dicks.

Silver picked up Shawty's injured waste tube qand used it like a hose and used it to spray Bugsy in the face until he surrendered. He turned and stuck his ass in the air. "Badge in my rectum or Shawty needs more medical attention by the end of the day!"  
"GROOOOHHHH!" Shawty almost turned into a Groudon. It was terrible. 20 gallons of poop to spare.

"Help, help! This is unsanitary!" Bugsy cried in his British voice. Meanwhile, Scyther had begun to fuck Wooper senselessly. He had turned over to the dark side. He was becoming... A DERP.  
"Woop, wooper!" Wooper said, fucking Scyther's dick. He ate Bugsy's badge and then pooped it out and landed in Silver's butthole.

"What has become of this GYM!" Silver yelled, stealing Bugsy's badge case and shoving the whole thing up da bum. "O-OH GOLD - WE CAN TAKE ON THE ELITE FOUR NOW!"  
And then the poop dissolved into the gym's grass. Shawty grasped her dying body and turned green. Something about her... was off. Then HER BODY STARTED POURING OUT POKEMON EGGS.  
"AH! MY BABY IS A MOTHER!" Silver ate her raw guts, slipping into action with Wooper and Scyther cuz it was hot.

"Orgy time," said Gold, join the steamy pile of love while making omlettes out of Shawty's baybees.  
Bugsy watched in astonishment. "Hail! Ceased! Desist! Inspertion! Help! Police!" He was fearing for his lif and unable to move or free with the terrible Ariados muck covering him.

"WHAT LANGUAGE IS THAT," Silver then proceeded to bawl his eyes out. Nothing hurt Silver's undeveloped brain more than gym leader vocabulary. He strutted over to Gold and fucked him in the ass. "Use your Onix as anal beads."

So Gold sent out his Onix and Onix screwed Silver's buttbutt! But Onix was made of PAPER SO RIP ONIX and also Shawty and Shawty's baybees. Gold ate the Shawty baybee omlette because yummy.

Wooper growled at Bugsy, confused about the situation and how men evolved from Darminitan and he lost faith in humanity so he ate Bugsy's dick for having an inverse vagina and not being born a Darumaka.

Bugsy was startled by this new development, as he was not a Pokephilliac and receiving sexual acts from a Pokemon was not his forte.  
"Please, sir! Deliver me from your Wooper's sweaty mouth POSTHASTE!" He cried.  
"You're so British," Gold threw an omelette in Bugsy's face.

Shawty jumped into a Heracross's mouth and watched secretly as Silver grabbed a butterfly net and caught Bugsy, heaving the net over his shoulder. "Sorry bubs, you're comin' with us."  
Then Shawty and Phanpy took the incentive, ran out of the gym, screaming bloody murder, Silver follower after them, pleased with himself like he just one a bug catching contest. "Hell ya, caught myself a Bugsy."  
"Ilex Forest ith my home, guyth," Shawty smiled. Phanpy started eating lubricated dirt because it was interesting. Stay tuned.  
"Well that's odd," Silver said staring at Phanpy. Inside the forest:

"Please sir! Please let me go!" Bugsy pleaded, struggling for his life against the net. Curious how such a simple structure could hold him so efficiently.  
Gold started to dance satanically around the shrine, catching a Farfetch'd and killin' it with his BEAR HANDS. He put da skull on his head and danced chanting, "HEYA HEYA HEYA!" as Silver did the same to a helmet made of Kakuna shell.  
"Look at my hat it's made of the flesh of the innocent!" Silver yelled in Bugsy's face.

"I do say!" Bugsy inquired, reaching delicately out to caress the Kakuna mask with the tip of his index finger. "This is just intriguing! As a wee tyke, I remember sitting upon the loo, admiring our replicas of such a beautiful artifact... The handicraft here is just MAGNIFICENT!"  
Then his voice trailed off, leaving Silver looking like he had no fucking idea of what was being said.

"IT IS A KAKUNA!" Gold suddenly yelled and Silver howled to the MOON CUTTING OPEN THE FACE OF A PIKACHU to throw da blud on thE SHRINE!  
"Good heavens!" sobbed Bugsy as he recoiled in his net. A sickening repulsion swelled in his chest as he watched the heathens dance. Strange fascination filled him as the lifeless Kakuna sat on the red haired boy's head, and the Pikachu bled out over the shrine. The dead Ariados in the corner filled him especially, as the fantasy of running his fingers over the cold exoskeleton filled him with the most macabre glee.  
SUDDENLY A GIANT FOOT CAME OUT OF THE SKY AND CRUSHED SHAWTY'S DEAD BODY. SHAWTY GOT SQUISHED. SHE'S DEAD NOW. NO MORE SHAWTY. THEY SUMMONED ARCEUS TO KILL SHAWTY!  
"Well then." Said Gold.  
"Woop wooper," Wooper sucked Bugsy Maynor Dickenson's dick.

"I can't BELIEVE!" Silver fell to the ground, defeated. Shawty was dead. NO. Oh well. He took off his Kakuna and poured PikaJuice into it, then drank from the makeshift cup.  
Everything was almost back to normal but then A KIMONO was dancing with A GENGAR and Silver, already distraught, shat his pants in fear. "No... No..! NO!"

"Take this egg!" Kimono screeched and Wooper ate the Gengar's dick. Gold swallowed the egg in one bite because htey didn't get the egg back in pURPLE BUT NOW THEY DO AND Silver get hard cuz damn Gold you fine when you eat eggs.  
Kimono girl fled!

Silver used Bugsy's net to thrust around in, "Fuck yeah man this is hot." Then he sweat dropped accidentally cumming all over Bugsy cuz he's useless as shit.

"No! Please, why! Help!" Bugsy's screams were heard by no one but the birds who left their perch as his wail cut through the sky.


	5. Chapter 5

_Dear Diary,_

_I have not much longer for my sanity. I'm afraid, as these two kidnappers seem hell bent on assimilating me into their terrible, hedonistic society. Their structure consists of terrible relations. The two, what can barely be classified as, humans appear to be in a romantic relationship of some kind, so they copulate freely and without warning, saying strange conversations in the enamored tongue they have._

_They also appear to be Pokephilliacs of some sort, as the man named "Gold"'s Wooper seems to join in the orgies quite frequently, always giving oral sex, and occasionally receiving anal, always with a shuddering cry of "woop wooper." I fear for my life, diary, as they've already taken everything else from me._

_The Wooper has a tendencey to stare at my hungrily and always gives its battle cry before assaulting me. I haven't been penetrated yet, but everything else they've done to me is equally terrible. I'm lviing in squalor, diary, covered in foul muck half of the time and still reeking of blood from the ritualistic sacrifice held at the shrine when we first entered this Arceus forsaken forest._

_So far two have died on our journey, the nameless Pikachu slaughtered by the heathens and the Ariados called "Shawty" and her children, eggs, which were devoured by Gold, owned by the man called "Silver." Speaking of which, things are strange with Gold, stranger than usual that is. He is growing round and his belly is swollen and he complains frequently._

_I am beginning to wonder if his symptoms are at all connected to his ingestion of the gift given to us by the kimono girl we saw earlier. She departed with her Gengar soon after delivering (more like throwing) a strange egg with blue and red markings to Gold, which he promptly ate in one swallow and caused more fornication between him and Silver._

_I can feel myself going mad as we advance. The filth of this journey and horridness of the confines in which I'm kept (a small butterfly net barely large enough to stretch in, slung over Silver's back, oh the irony) closing in on my mind as I witness even more horrors with each passing day. I long for nothing more than my gym and a hot shower, a meal with my family and Pokemon (god I hope Scyther is okay...) and to return to my average, daily life._

_Please, if anyone finds this diary, tell my family I love them and get these mad men the help they deserve._

_- Gym Leader Bugsy_

_No... No! The Wooper is advancing! I shan't be raped today ! No! N_

...woop... wooper...

Wooper ate Bugsy's dick.

* * *

Silver ran out of the meaningless Ilex Forest exit and bumped head-first into a giant boobed lady.  
"How do you like the smell of my 40 Sweet Scents?" She winked at him and pushed his nose into the crease of her breasts.  
Phanpy evolved at the sight of it and used rollout to take down the lady's Butterfree for no damn reason. "REREREREREREEEE-"

So Chiodo killed a Butterfree dumbutt and Gold licked the dead body and then they went outside into the route and Wooper splashed in the puddles and ate a dick.

Suddenri a giant blimp came down from the sky and a Meowth reached into Silver's pants cuz he was secretly Elastigirl from 50 feet in the air and stole his Mareep Dick Pokeball but no one noticed except maybe Bugsy. He was the Sherlock fucking Holmes of Johto and the only one with apparent common sense.

"Oh hey a bird," said Gold.  
"Asdfjklblmbd..." said Silver.  
"Friends! Companions! Captors!" Bugsy cried. "That Meowth just stole your Pokemon! Silver!" He wailed in vain in his British voice as a girl WHO WAS A TOTAL BUTCH LEZBIAN DASHED OVER AND HIT GOLD IN THE NUTS!  
"I HATE GREEK GODS!" She whispered BUT ALSO YELLED!  
"Woop wooper," Wooper tried to eat Butchy McLezbian's dick but SURPRISE SHE HAD A VAJAYJAY!

Silver leaned over into the net, completely ignoring Bugsy's French. Suddenly Silver said, "I've always had the hots for you."  
Then a white light anteloped Chiodo. Then he disappeared into his Pokeball. Then Silver noticed the lesbian and gasped. "FIRST FEMALE IN /MY/ FANFIC?!"

"YEAH I'M A GIRL AND ALSO A FEMINIST so DON'T YOU FORGET IT!" said Lyra. She had little swoopy pigtails that stabbed Wooper in the eye but he regrew it and Gold was still a Greek God that was hella gay Hermes so that's why Lyra hated him. Haha I almost wrote Wooper there silly me.

Silver looked into Bugsy's eyes from between the rope strands of da net. "Your luscious green hair... it's so captivating.. I-I just..."  
He leaned in a little closer and punched Lyra in the face before caressing Bugsy's ankle cuz he was still 35% derpy. "If I take you from your confinement, promise me you won't run away."

Bugsy's heart skipped a beat and leapt into his throat. The heat rising to his face had nothing to do with arousal and everything to do with anxiousness at being... free. The red-haired was glaring with lust and the touch on his ankle made him shudder. He bit his lip to hide a squeak of fear that the other took for consent, and Bugsy fought to keep his breathing even as Silver started to free him from the net.  
"Gold I am not Greek God,"said Gold and Lyra was like oh okay then.  
"Woop wooper," Wooper loved dicks.  
"Hey I see that you like dicks come wit me." Lyra said in her deep man voice. So Gold and Lyra and Woop Wooper left leaving Bugsy and Silver alone. SMUGBUG SHIPPING!

Silver eagerly untied the net, faintly smiling as Bugsy almost too calmly stood and ran out of the rest stop. For a moment the ginger had to recollect just what happened, almost too lust-ridden to comprehend a thing. Quickly he stood and chased after Bugsy absentmindedly.  
"Hold on!" An awkward, husky scowl escaped his lips. "I didn't want for you to try and escape!" There was a grimace on Silver's face.

Bugsy dashed as quickly as he could, tearing through the route and grass and tress. His legs were tight from being confined and wrapped in the butterfly net for so long, and the tendons pulling in his thighs were unbearable. But still he ran, wailing as he heard the lust driven Silver crush along behind him, and cried out loudly when he turned and saw, just in time, Silver leap and tackle him to the forest floor.  
"Please, please no! Let me go! No!" Bugsy screamed.

"Fucking stop screaming. Someone'll come and find us," Silver pinned the pure, innocent boy down, making sure he couldn't get away. Tossing the bug net to the side, Silver yanked lightly at Bugsy's tie.  
"Don't make this harder than it already is," he whispered into the gym leader's ear, one of his hands caressing's his soft, short-covered hips.

"No, please! Don't.. I-I- Please no!" He squirmed under the larger boy, his wrists pinned to the grass. He gave a slightly quieter wail when Silver grabbed his hip, still writhing under him. The red head's eyes were like metal, cold and unforgiving.

There was a sharp tug at the younger one's trousers and Silver's hand immediately grasped at his member. With a gentle squeeze, Silver straddled him and kept Bugsy down only by the harsh grip upon his hair. "You do what I say and I won't hurt you too much, okay?"

Bugsy squeaked in surprise as his pants were yanked away and yelped again when the other's hand grasped him roughly.  
"Please, Silver, no! Let me go...!" He gasped, pleading as the other glared hungrily down at him.

Silver pulled in frustration at his purple pastel hair, again groping Bugsy's prepubescent dick. "If you keep fussing around, I'm going to break your precious friend in two," he indicated Bugsy's young rod by stroking at it. There was an extreme carefulness to Silver's touch, though not necessarily toward the hold on Bugsy's head which he held tight to.

Bugsy cried out and moaned, squeezing his eyes shut as the sensation of getting touched radiated through him. There was command to everything Silver did now and he was so terrifyingly different: clever and determined and so completely foreign from everything Bugsy had known thus far. It fascinated him and he gave another moan, his small body convulsing.

Silver let go of Bugsy's head, letting himself lay against his tiny frame. In one swift movement, Silver pulled his pants down to his knees. His mouth began suckling against Bugsy's adams apple, his free hand reaching underneath Bugsy for his asshole. He hoisted Bugsy's legs up into the air, pumping him a little faster as his fingered the frightened boy with an uncanny smirk. Silver felt almost too much of a delight in harassing Bugsy, his own dick rock-hard from the scene.

The sensation of getting filled with other's fingers was terrible, stretching and burning his tight virgin asshole was penetrated again and again. His gasps turned into moans and cries of pain and tears welled in his eyes.  
"Oh, oh my! S-Silver! Please, please stop!" He cried out, bucking his hips in an effort to get away, snapping their heads together as he nudges Silver, who was biting furiously at his neck.

"Don't fucking be like that," Silver whined, freeing his fingers from Bugsy. Almost instinctively, Silver slammed himself into Bugsy, trying hard to withstand the almost unbearable tightness. "It'll feel better, idiot, I promise."

Bugsy's eyes squeezed shut and then shot open as he was suddenly impaled, the giant member throbbing inside him and making the tears fall. Silver started to ravage his tight, tiny little bottom and Bugsy's moans grew louder and sharped in pain. It was dry and huge and tight and painful and burning and he wondered if this whole experience was divine punishment for his sins as a whole, as he was savagely fucked into the ground.

Silver thrusted inward as delicately as possible, holding himself back to keep Bugsy from squealing any louder. Silver planted his hands on the ground, fingers digging into the soil beneath the grass. He sat up slightly for leverage, gritting his teeth as he bucked his hips.

Bugsy's little moans and sighs were driving Silver over the edge as he wracked the small boy's shape frame. He pounded into his bottom; Bugsy's face, blushing cheeks, teary eyes and pleading expression... suddenly an all-consuming hunger washed over him. He attacked Bugsy's mouth, muffling his own cries of pleasure as his head grew light. He started to chew savagely at his lower lip and pressed his tongue ever deeper into the little bou's mouth as he felt his penis swell. He dumped his entire load deep inside Bugsy as he cried out in unimaginable pain. Silver panted heavily, licking his lips as he pulled away and sliding out of the little ravaged ass with barely a care in the world.

"HEY GUY- OH MIGHTYENAS!" Gold fumbled onto Silver's naked butt. "Getting a little INTIMATE NOW ARE WE?"  
"That's a /funny/ question," Silver crossed his arms and licked Bugsy's twitching eyeball. "Actually yes."

"BACK IN THE SACK YOU GO," Gold slapped Bugsy into the butterfly net.  
"Here you go Silver!" Gold said.

"Thank ye, ye ole COOT!" He graped the stick happily being reminded of a distant past. "Where's your damnw Wooper I miss him. It's been 10 minutes. Where's Lyra." Silver wasn't really asking questions but he was most definitely expecting answers.

"YOU GOTTA SEE WHAT WOOPER DID! YOU GOTTA GOTTA GOTTA!" Gold picked them up nonchalantly and flew on his gay shoes of gayness all the way to the Goldenrod ghetto where Lyra was at with Wooper at the Daycare/Tattoo Parlor.

Silver screamed almost ear-crackingly. "OH MY FUCKING FARFETCH'D!"  
A big dick of a tramp stamp was tattooed on Wooper's visible ass. "Woop, wooper!"

Wooper was happy with his new body art though it hella hurt.  
Lyra grunted, "Yeah, write yer sexual preference allllll over yer body!" She screamed.

"I'm horny for a gym badge," Silver smiled discretely, looking at Raticate Joey stalk around outside. "I have news."

"NEWZ," said Gold, popping out a baby Togepi from his bum.

"Joey whizzed," he pointed outside but then Togepi placenta squirted him int he back of the head. "I'm hit!"  
Chiodo humped a Skitty plushie in the distance.

Little children ran about the daycare/tattoo parlor and Lyra's batty ol' ghetto gramma shapped at them when they scribbled on da wall with the tattoo stuff or drew pensises on each other.  
"THAT RATICATE'S GOING TO THE GYM." Lyra yelled and grabbed them all in a skull crushing embrace!  
"Ok good." said Gold.  
Lyra bashed through a wall and went to the gym to chase after Human Centipede Joey!


	6. Chapter 6

"LOOK, JOEY'S FUCKING WHITNEY'S EYE SOCKETS AND DRINKING MOOMOO MILK STRAIGHT FROM THE MILTANK'S TITS!" Silver pointed yet again when they got inside the Clefairy of a maze gym. "That's JUST NOT COOL!"

Bugsy shuddered in his net, sobbing quietly as he rubbed his arms and tried to recover from the sodomy in the forest. Lyra snarled and suddenly whipped out a SUBMACHINE GUN that also spewed fire!  
"REGIGIGIGIGIGIGIGIGASS!" LYRA SCREECHED gunning down Lyra. Hahaha, wait, no, she gunned down Joey who was skull fucking Whitney. Lyra didn't gun down Lyra you're silly.

Silver could only watch in dismay; Joey's blood splattered all over the place as he died with much sexual tension. "Oh boy, oh boy!" Silver said excitedly, sounding exactly like Barney the Dinosaur.

But Whitney also died cuz she was caught on fire and Joey burned to a crisp. So, welp, there goes Bill's hard work. No more freaky human Joey Raticate centipede.  
Lyra cradled Whitney's dead body, sobbing great tears of sorrow. "She wuz my girlfrien'," Lyra said.  
Gold kicked Whitney's corpse's ass a nd it turned into the Anime protagonist. Whitney gasped.  
SHE WAS NOW ASH.  
"Take the badge!" Lyra said, poking up Silver's bumbum as she cracked her knuckles and beat up Ash's dumb 10 year old face cuz dude. The anime sucks. If it wasn't for the nostalgia factor and Natural Harmonia- OOPS. Spoiler. No one would even like it. I don't like it. I... What... Cilan... Iris...? Who even? Dear me.

Silver put out a plate of spoiled eggs. "Here are your next spoilers!"  
Confetti rained from the ceiling as a large banner dropped down saying, "Ash was in a coma the whole time!"  
"Wow this is like a baby shower!" Gold said, jumping into the egs and touching Wooper straight up the you-know-what hole.

"Wooooppper!" Wooper loved dicks!

No one loved dicks more than Wooper. Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase! And so it was.  
Silver walked with a strut outside, riding Chiodo to the National Park, looking back at Bugsy dumbly and curiously. "You ok?"  
Then the ground exploded and they fell into a ditch. "Well fuck," said a Silver.

Bugsy shied away from his captor, crying as the fell down into the hole.  
"I-I am most certainly NOT okay... You-you did debaucherous things to me, Silver!" Bugsy began to sob uncontrollably as a cackling of laughter rose above them.  
TWO STUPID DICKS WERE LAUGhIng at them and they had a Meowth.  
"Prepare for ponies!" said Jessie.  
"And the bronies!" said James.  
"To steal all of the dicks ever!"  
"To love and tolerate all the haters!"  
"To keep stealing all of the dicks ever!"  
"And extend our reach to the Celestia above!"  
"Jesse!" said Jezzie.  
"James!" James was a brony and also gay.  
"Team Rocket will steal your genitalia!"  
"So surrender now or-um.. It's okay, you don't have to surrender if you don't want to..." James thought Fluttershy was best pony.  
"Woop Wooper," Wooper sucked Meowth's dick.

Silver gnawed on the ground and lots of Diglett filed out of the ground, whooping TR's ass cheecks and blasting them off into the sky as per usual.  
"THE DIX ARE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" James screeched, and cried mercilessly disappearing beyond the horizon.  
"That was an odd phenomenon," Silver whipped Chiodo with a tree root and climbered out of the hole. "Yaowrite."

"Silver, Silver! What happened to Gold?" said Bugsy.

"He's... he's around here..." Silver sniffed the air. A Sandshrew fucked many Pidgey afterward for little to no reason. "I can sense... /his presence/."  
Then a Gold air walked by on his gay Hermes shoes, waving hello to his companions. "Hey folks."

"HAY," said Silver, greeting him with a tongue in his mouth. Gold kissed him back passionately as they made out RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. BUGSY.

Bugsy wailed loudly, not sure if the feeling bubbling up inside his chest was jealousy or some other sort.  
"Oh hot diggity," Silver footed instead of fisted Gold's bum. "You're such a loosy goosy."

"Dat's cuz yer cock is so big," Gold said.  
"Woop Wooper," Wooper started to suck both of their dicks at the same time.

"O-Oh Wooper your big mouth feels like sharks, whales and blow fish " Silver said not making any sense. He came wildly on concrete then scouted to National Park cuz it was long overdue.  
"Take this," a girl handed Gold a water gun. "When the time comes, you will know what to do."

And then she cartwheeled away and screeched such hella loud cuz she was Darth Maull. Gold went into the Park and caught a Sunkern.  
"Look Silver, I caught the best Pokemon EVER."

"Wow... Your... You.. Just leveled the hell up!" In a jealous rage Silver started toward Ecruteak. "Come on Bugsy Boy, we're going." He swung him angrily then cried cuz the path was blocked by a large brown poop.  
Silver poked it. It squirmed.  
"IT'S ALIIIIIVE!" A Goosebumps soundtrack played in the background just like the movies.

Wooper licked the poop and it wriggled cuz happy.  
"Oh yeah baby you like dat?" Wooper said in sexual plockmon upive but was speaking Pokemon so he really said, "Woop wooper."  
"Omgay Wooper don't like the poop!" Gold shot wooper with his WATER GUN (even though Silver got it so idk)

Sudowoodo thot he got sprayed then he jumped out of tee ground, flinging Diglett everywhere. "Pee!"  
Silver stood in silence, staring at Wooper's very pretty tramp stamp. Chiodo ate horse food from the muzzle over his out that just randomly appeared there.

Wooper and Chiodo made out then SudoPenis shoved them side picking up Wooper like, "Mine bitch."  
"Gaaay," Gold said.

Silver, Bugsy and... uh... um... that random ass Sneasel standing like an arrogant bad ass over there 5 feet away stared at Gold with their arms crossde, especially Bugsy with the straightjacket. Silver bought it for him from a tree merchant.

Wait hold up a tree merchant? Like a merchant that was a tree or a merchant who lived in a tree or a merchant who sold trees?

A merchant that was literally a tree. He was a human at first but then he got cursed like that guy in Golden Sun. So yeah.

Golden Sun? Whatever um continuing.  
Sneasel was badass with submachine guns and the blood of his enemies around him like a lake. A lake of RAGE (haha foreshadowing.)

Bugsy ate a Yanma very carefully. Silver stepped over the hot mess which was Sudowood, Wooper and Chiodo, making his escape toward Ekruteak Ecruteak Fuckuteak. I can't spell the damn city.

"Oh baby you can do that all night long," Wooper said as Sudowoodo licked him. Oh yeah. But really said, "Woop wooper."

Sneasel jumped on Silver's head and scratched his eyeballs out. Then Silver was blind but it was ok. Wooper got up and pulled his eyes out, put them into Silver's sockets and so Silver looked like a Ditto. Then Sneasel fried Silver's original eyes and sacrificed them to Darkrai.

Darkrai was pleased.  
"Ew Wooper stop that," Gold said.  
Wooper humped Sudowoodo like there was no tomorrow because they were in LUV.

Then they made some precious SudoWooper babies cuz ye. What dawg? Diggadiggadigdog.  
Snoop Lion came out from under the bushes and said things in Lobster Language like the Lobster in The Little Mermaid. Bugsy was so unsure of himself at this point he started to question whether or not they were going to make it to Ecruteak which was 5 steps away.

So Gold picked them al up, putting Snoop Lion on his head and walked 4 and a half steps to Ecruteak. ROUURUUUSTEEK DIB HAH.


	7. Chapter 7

Morty came out in a black hooded cloak much like those of the KK except not. He had a bible in his hands and so did the 3 people scouting behind him.  
Our protagonists were diving head-first into Ecruteak in slow motion, but their bodies were doing Maxtrixes to get out. Something was very god damn fishy and it wasn't Morty.

It was a Magikarp splashing in the mud puddle. That was very fishy because fish.  
Morty gasped at duh Greek Gob by him and bowed down before Gold sayin', "Your a sine sent by Arceus I mean DARKRAI!" And then bowed and worshipped him.  
"Ok." Gold said, shooting them all the face with his water gun floated with shoes.

"Ok I see now." Silver said and caught Sneasel for reasons.  
Bugsy stared down Morty. "Oh for the sake of Arceus! If one more human being cosplays as an Organization Member, I'm gonna have a hissy fit!"

"YOU." Morty said and dramatically pointed at Bugsy. "YOU ARE THE ENEMY OF THE CULT."  
And they all proceeded to swarm Bugs Booger and take him back to their "church" for satanic sacrifices while Gold and Silver rode high on a golden platform because gods. Sneasel found a black robe and was a brother of the CULT. Sneasel became goth.

"Oh plz who needds this I'm Hercules," Silver sneezed and jumped to his suicide but then he summo0nded a swarm of flying, horned Pegasses. "Ok now we're talking," he said riding a demonic Pga$u$ with a black coat on. Silver was Axel of Pokemon hands down.  
"Oh deary me," Bugsay said with a tad bit of weariness to his manly but flamboyant (luk I just contradicted myself) voice. "I Play for all your souls to be cleansed this very instant," then he shoved his poopy hands into his pockets and took out a Cleanse Tag, shoving it onto the back of Morty. "May Arceus be with you, sinner."

So they took Bugsy to their "church" which was black and burned and so hella gay so Gold felt right at home.  
"Your horse is very gay," Gold said.  
"Tank," Morty said and served him ice cold warm Pikajuice.  
Sneezlel tied Bugs Bunny down to a sacrificial altar and the guy cultzors started chanting. "Asfgdhjlk; asdfghjkl;"

Then a familiar, yet distant voice came out of Bugsy's flimsy body. "Suicune tails, 50 Pokedollars!" Silver broke down crying because his dear Bugsy finally departed from planet Earth. "Change him back Morty!"

"What is going on with meee?!" Bugsy cried. There was a fire in his veins and a swelling in his head and the voice emanating from his mouth was not his own. His eyelids blinked rapidly and when they closed, the most frightening pictures of fire and brimstone filled his vision and he tried to scream but ended up just giving a horrible ghostly wail.  
"Oh, your Jehova's Witness is posessesesade," Morty worty said.

"Good day, peasants," that mysterious voice called again. "It has been almost 500 years since I've been summoned. What dur hell do u wernt?"  
"MY BUGSY BACK!" Silver screamed wildly.  
"Oh. That's it?" He sounded as if this incident had occured before, disappointed.

"NO GREAT SPIRIT," Morty cried. De cultzors fell on their kneez and worshipped the possessed Bugsy.  
"We want you to kill all the nonbelievers in Darkrai's glorious NAME!"  
Sneezlel sneezed a gay sneeze and fell off glitter and bows... Ok. Wooper wondered if he could suck Bugsy's possessed ghost dick. Gold fingered Silver.

"U called on mi last time... I told u before and I'll tell you again: I am not this Darkrai in whcih you spic!" He cried. "I am Eusine! EWSINE!"  
Silver amputated Gold's pee.

And then that pee became pee soup and Bugsy spewed gayness I meaN PEE SOUP that als omade themu gay but like Gold and Silver were unaffected cuz they were already gay, but Morty and his cult started all passionately making out with each other. Euswine/Bugsy kept spewing soup until Gold camde behind him/them and kicked their ass.  
"Badge plz."

Morts scowled in agony very gay-like, until his hand stuck itself in his pocket and pulled out 40 Ghost badges and had to play the Memory card game for one hour to get the right pair. "Here," Morts screwed Silver's bum with it angrily.

But then Euswine got kicked out of Bug Booger's body and Sivler rushed to his boyfriends lovers side and hugged him and Eusine went into a FAAAABULOUS body of some gay butler who had died chasing Suicune.  
"Omgay what even." Zombie Eusine said. He was a walking dead butler who wanted to screw Suicune in the bum ass dick head face. SCREAMS

Chiodo walked into the tower and made this emote: 0.o "CHeerios," he whipped Silver with a tree trunk. "God dam."  
Silver threw up Gold's leftovers in which he ate from behind the scenes. "There's your lunch."  
Bugsy drooled and glared lazily at Ewswine with his good eye, rubbing his hands together. "Must we."

"Well we got the badge so I'm gay-I mean going," so Gold lef tand Wooper sucked a thing.  
"AH!" Scramesz. That was Euseme who started to hump Wooper's mouf. Wooper's blowjob turned him British.  
"Oh, I say! It's like a pip pip cheerio wanker in the loo!" Eusine said in his new British zombie voice.  
"Silver..." Bugsy opened his eyes to Silver's eyes looking down at him. They were full of worry and thought they normally filled Bugsy with terror. After his horrible nightmare possession he was so relieve to see the gaze of a friend. "Oh, Silver!" Bugsy clung to him.  
"II AM GAY!" Morty started butt-fukking Eusine because apparently people ship that? Sneeze sneezled.

"ME II!" Ewswine burped a clurp and summoned a hinga dinga durd turd out Morts's ass.  
Silver stared at Bugsy for a long time. And by a long time, I mean two days. "You're like the Snickers to my mouth," he said.  
"Must we," Gold mocked Bugsy and started out the door.

So the three heroes left Morty and Eusine and Wooper to their British copulation and finally lef tht etower church burned thing after TWO FUKKIN DAYS. Hey.


	8. Chapter 8

Godl kicked a Miltank in the face. "Be healthy" and so it was spoken by the Greek god of gayness. Miltank stopped burping and farting and puking and became gay.  
"Gold, I don't believe that is how you cure a Miltank of her ailments!" Bugsy said holding a few dozen Oran Berries. He was still in the butterfly net slung over Sivler's shoulder. Sneasel gay sneezed and Chiodo began salsa dancing with Miltank making Wooper hella jealous.

Chiodo found himself masturbating furiously to picture of naked Miltank, while sucking cutely on a teet coming up from the ground. "Oh yeah," he said like Koolaid guy.  
Silver burped angrily and grabbed Godl by the shoulder and kissed him til he turned French.

"Hon hon hon baguette eiffel tower!" Godl sed, his winged Greek god shoes turning into a stripey shirt and yay neck rag and beret. He also had 50 timey-wimey shadow and bagels i mean baguerette. BgAYttits.  
Wooper lost his arms he was so surprised wait he didn't have any to begin with.

Silver realized what he had done and wished Arceus to forgive him for his sins. "OH YAAAA." said Chiodo gayly, cumming blood.  
"Another one bites the dust," said an unfaithful Beyonce Wooper. Aw yah. Fuk ya. Wii. Wii U. 3DS.

"I am no longer, how you say, Greek God?" Godl said, sipping caramel macchiato gayly.  
"AW SHIT!" Someone said.

Then Destinys Child came out the womb of a Miltank. So.  
"Do u mind passing the MACAROONS!" Shouted a fat, rotting corpse that Bugsy.

But Bugsy wasnt a corpse that was Morty EUSWINE I M EAN EUSINE EUSINE. Likes butt fucking Morty butt he really likes Suicune's butt bcuz that's what evil 9001 year old spirit possessed butler corpsez do okay?  
"God I wanna fukking murder you," Siv said.

Dolg screamed a Siv Sav Sivity Soup Pee Siv. "I cannot," he said, but it was French so Sivler screamed a screw into a Tauros and walked into Olivine with Chiodo.

"SHIIIIT NOGGIN!" Said a deep deep blackman voice. It was Jazzmeeni who was chasin after a Meowth balloon guns blazing doinbg flying knees weak arms spagetti. She said nogging cuz we're not RACISTS. "Dey done stole mah Steelix!"  
Meowth was riding a giant dick in the balloon basket like literally it was a giant penis in the balloon and James was playing Ponies and the dick had a dog collar on it that said "Steelix."  
Wooper shed a small tear.

Chiodo jumped. And then he caused an Earthquack. Dolg falled.  
Sivler gave a Bugsy look. "That isn't a dick. That's a Pokeomn."  
But Wooper understood nothing so he water gunned the sun and caused an apocalyssp.

The end.


	9. Chapter 9

Jokes.  
The only end here was the end of t he whirl. The Poliwhirl. Everything was dark but no one knew that the sun had a back-up generator then it made light bulb noises and turned back on.  
Wooper was spotted riding a Tauros with his cock out.

"HI HO SIVLER AWAYYYYY!" Woopser yeleled in Pkmn langoog so rly he said "woop wooper" he chargb da Tavros afturd da team Rocket balloon. Tauros jumped over the moon and the dish ran awa with the spoon.  
"MEEEEYOWTH." Meowth sed as wooper podped the balloon with his HUGE COCK! Jazzmeenis steelxic named dick dick named Steelix fell and "TEAM ROCKET BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"  
"Hellz yeah noggin!" Jazzmeenie tapped her head and returded her steeldick. She still had BLACK MAN VOICE.  
"How yoo sey, badge sivous plait?" French Gold seaid.  
"Hellz no noggin," Jazzmeany showed off her GUNS.

"Noggin was once my favorite TV show," said Bugsy shamelessly.  
Chiodo rammed his bootang hole into a nearby Geodude fist and began to chant satanic nothings into Silver's ear.  
"Aw shit my ass is telling me to go to that tower over there," he said as a lone Pokeball fell from the sky and landed in Sivler's pocket. "That's my Mareep dick."

"Oya son!" Jazzmeeni suddenly yelled and ran up the litehaus like DA POPO WERE CHASIN HURR DA FUZZ DA LAW. Sivler and Godl ran affturr and made siren sounds like weeooo weeooo WEEABOO.  
ONCE THEY GOT to the twoer there was TEAM ROcKET! They had a blasted off to the lighthouse! And they were stealing Ampharos's dick penis cockhead.  
"Shit man! Noggin stole mad dick!" JaZzmeEnie said.  
"How you say, badge Silver play?" Godl sed, being French and spraying perfume in Bugsy's BRITISH FACE.

"Watch where you spray that foul smelling concoction! It may be contaminated! Quarantine! Quarantine! I say, quarantine!" Bugsy screeched, rpolling around flabbergasted in his tote.  
Silver watched as his Mareep dick Pokeball suddenly disappear form his Poket. "Haha! ...Wait. That's not funny."  
Then Ampharos did a thing that no one saw coming: took a racoon from its belly button and ate it raw.

"Prepare for ponies!" said Jessi.  
"And the bronies!" James liked My Little Pony Friendship is Magic and frequently wrote fanfiction for it. It was no better than the tripe you are reading now.  
"HAHAHAHA!" Jesse said sounding like Vriska. "Now th8t we h8ve stolen 8LL OF TH8 D8CKS EV8R TE8M R8CKET WILL R8LE THE W8RLD!"  
"Um, actually um Jessie, we only stole an Ampharos dick..." James still thought fluttershy was best pony.

Silver Gold ampharos Bugsy, especially Bugsy, swirled in a purple heat of confusion. What the.  
Tauros, whose relevancy was trivial only five seconds ago, ate at the lint stuck under his hoof, counting ever comma in this sentence, a little bewildered as, anxiously, wooper mounted him with a gracefullness no one ever saw in wooper before.

Oh yeah. Wooper on Tauros actione.  
"H8H8H8H8H8H8H8! L8TER LOS8RS!" Team Rocket absconded with the Ampharos dick!  
Ampharos mourned the loss of its genetalia by wearing the raccoon corpse as a hat and crying over a poster of MCR.

"Gerard Way, I will ALWAAAAAYS looOoOOOve YoooOOOOooOOOooOooUuuU!' Sang Silver, transforming into Whitney Houston for a very brief moment.  
The depressed Ampharos screamed digging a hole int he blankets of the only bed in da litehaws.  
"Battil meh," said a scared looking Godl as he sent out a puny Sunkern. "Aw yea."

"FUK NO NOGGIN," Jassmeanie stompered on Sunpip a n dit squeaked. Like. A DOG TOY. (and died RIP Sunpipperkern 2011-20900-9001)  
"Nooooo." Godl said, going into Frnech anverysms over the loss of his belovered sunpip. He was freaking out so much, Sivler had to slap him anover nationality.  
"Ohey I'm normal nao" glod sed "Tahnk"

"Welc," said Bugsy subconsciously. Oh no, I'm turning into one of them, he thought.  
A sun stone fell miraculously from the ceiling and broke. RIP the Sun Stone. 1972-2099. So sad.  
"Let it rip," said Hold and made Wooper do a fart. "lol take that steelick."  
"O.O" said silver out loud. "HAHA~~ Kawai :3 desu-ka :D"  
Wooper jumped and fart into Steelick mouth. "Weepoor!"

"GOD DAMMIT CRACKERS" Jazzmeenie ate 9726349563421 saltine crackers.  
"Sivler we shoodnt b fareeng we shood half." He grabbeled sivlers arm hed leg and also face. "Let's get the DIX back from Team DICkFAce" He twepokedinwoopersassgayly.

"Aw sith you're right ok lets go" Siver jumped a window on Cihodo who used his wings for flapping. "These wings were made for flappin."  
Bugsy shyly squealed, enjoying the breeze that ruffled his hair with curiousity. Many colored pencils fell out of it. "Oh my, my! So that's where my artistic sticks ran off to!"  
When they landed on the ground Sivler saw wat looked like a HoOh in the distance but it was just Gold tripping in midair on his Hermes Shoes.

"Sivler luk no HANDS!" Godl cut off woopers hands and he regrew them. Gold sitll had Hermes shoes and baguettes. So they CHASED team rocket and went to Cyancyaicniahdjfds. Cheyenae City. Cianwodo City. Chiodoiioofpi flweoawk likefsdiog DUbmofdbk.


	10. Chapter 10

anon reviewer reminded me i needed to update this damned thing

* * *

"Wat I wanna kno is at wat point did Woop-Goldburger grow hands," Silver stated and force himself to swallow a big gunky mess of Pidgey poop on his arm.  
"Holy crap," Gold fell on top of a house shaped like a Shuckle. "Whoa."  
The roof collapsed and Shuckles from inside the building did a thing.

Those Shuckle all died liking pussy and it was tragic. They did the caramel dancing as they rose to heaven and seutd at Arceus and also Giotyne's left foot and ate Oran Berrys and pooped dicks. Silver cot a dead Shuckle dick as it flooted bai.  
"GOD EVERYTHING IS DED! DED DED DED DEAD!" Glod screemed Wooper tryed te eet Sivler nu Pkoeman

Taro maik noise and heave ho out of Godls pokball. He ran out da door of Shuckle and ram into Pokgym with a fierce s mile. "Aw ya."  
Siver grabbed a ded Shuckle risinz the sky and caught it. "Hmm your replacing airiados. What was her name now."  
"hm." Bugsy. No...

Bugsy shook his head, cheeks pink and hair windswept from the flight and was desperately trying to clear his brain from the horrid sentence structures and bad grammar that was starting to cloud his language. He feared the worst, that their stupidity was spreading, his reserved British demeanor cracking under the toxicity of their presence, his entire soul being ripped apart from all the evil of exposure he'd seen this journey. He feared... he was becoming... A DARP.  
"No time fer karacter exposition, Bugsy boi!" Gold stuck a finger up everyones NOSE. "It's timey wimey to get a badge for Silver's butt!"

"Karacter eggsALAD." Silver jum ped off Chiodo and returned his Pokemon. All of them. He toted budgy once more, rockin him back and forth gently. "Rock a bye beyegds baby" jolting toward the gym he saw Tauros and the whole wall of the gym kncoked down. "Gold take care of ya pokemon's behavier."

"Fuck no!" Said Gold. The wall fell on a bunch of zombies Oh my god the gym was over run with the walking dEAD it was like ZOMBIELAND they were LEFT FOR DEAD in WORLD WAR Z with zombies as the RESIDENT EVIL they had to beat up WARM BODIES of hte INFECTED and AAAAAAAH! Real Monsters!

Silver had a panic attack from all the references and ran to the north side of the island.  
"Hello u have ur GBC gamepack?" A man ax, holding up a camera. "U can make prints with ya Poke-"  
"Now aint the time," said silver. Bugsy wailed and let out a shrill scream. "FuuuuuuUckkaaaaAaAa."  
"Itr's a me a mario," said a pidgey as it got eaten by a zombie.

Yes ye ho my zombies!" A familiaree zombie gay butler said. It was EUSWING! He munched a skull cup and sipped ice cold warm Pikajuice by STICKING a STRAW IN pika butt. "Soon the world will be mieNE."

Suddenly a group of golbat rained down from the sky and Morty was on a Crobat. "Come Euswine, my lovely dictator! Let's put your old tired soul to rest."  
THen a flip flopping shiggy ma doo brony and homestuck and lindsay mcguire team rocket came by with a gothic looking meowth blimp and yelled "Now's not the time."  
Silver and Bugsy prayed to satan Giratina Darkrai shota yaoi boy and hoped for the best. "Asdfghjkl;"  
"ASDFGJKL:"  
Who uses the Caps Lock button when you have Shift

A great battle ensure, a battle with war and blood and fighting and dicks. Gold unsheated a might penis sword and summoned onail his Greek god french KNWO LEDJ and cut down a million 965421 zombies and also kicked I MEAN yeah kicked Eusines ass.  
"BADGE NOW PLEASE MOTERFUCKERE" Gold screCHMENED summoning mountains.  
A glorious Suicune descended from the heavens. Gold feasted well that day.

"GAHHHH my lifes quest is in RUINS!" Euswine's spirit blew up his zombie body and probably went straight to heaven after that idk.  
An angry James kicked at the grainy sand beneath him, staring at the gentle waves that hit his dry heel as the sun set to the west. "I lost all my DVD tapes," he took out a Pokeball, threw it to the ground and sent out a slimy little Mareep you know WHAT. "Prepare for dix, and make it..."  
Jesse was dead on the shoreline to the right of him, blood seeping out of her soaking wet chest. James shed a single tear but them came more when a painful-to-look-at, spine broken and twisted, Meowth washed up face down in the salty water.  
"Dick-k-kz," James looked hellbent.

Team rocket boarded dere zombie baboon and died all floatin away to the burn up yemetowr sur and they totally bsined upjust kidding idk they disappeared mysteriously.  
"Arceus dammit I want my baDGE!" Gold scamd ded! Chuck washed upo on the shore. Silver ate his badge and it went into his bum wooper was running around in circles on his head around the mareep actually ampharos dick. He tried to eat but hold picked him up by hees armpits which made wooper hella mad. Nobody liked dicks more than Wooper.

Sivler grabby grab grabbed his Ampgydick and put it into his pocket without the ball cuz god knows where it was at this point. "We need to give its dick back before it dries out."  
Chiodo came out of its ball and licked Silver's butt, trying to comfort him thru th epain. It wasnt an easy job taking the place of a badge case. Then silver got on him, glancing back at Bugsy, who was sound asleep.  
"lets roll" red haired ginger said with shades on. "yea"


End file.
